Odyssey, heterosexual
First things first.
I christened my wife "Invulnerable" and trundled her down to the bay. There we stood a great long while singing to the ocean liners ferrying whole nations of confused, ardent poachers from one great untrammeled, unwrecked continent to another, ours. Here they would swing past my wife and me on into lands unexplored by either us or them, shooting the this and the that with the caliber of their choosiness, loud, and we still singing, perhaps, on and on into the vast night of their indeed very nicely grounded assumptions.
We stopped singing and stared out into the bay in silence, the ships, the ships fairly loud and rowdy, and then I looked at her once and laid her, back first, onto the water and gently shoved her with a toe of mine and observed her unique and gorgeous, that great bobless scurrying into the water of that body of her, my wife, a glorious scurrying to make me weep in transport of knowledge, aesthetic, and there my wife was, and I mounted her there and directed her into the bay so that waves might part and she and I sail some great distance onward.
I noted my wife, that her health was not good. She was leaking great flows of mentholated effusions from tooth and nose, it seemed, and I merely shivering on stomach deck listing from the sheer mess of our strandedness remote as it was from pharmacist, surgeon, or friend.
I tried, oh, to steer her, wife, "Invulnerable," down through the corridors reserved for the huge shipping vessels our country has used to transport its valuable forms, as well as, glorious, its values without form, formless, to others in the world who have few skills like ours, but the wakes from the vessels destroyed what plentiful ease had been my wife's and mine there in the bay, despite distance and disease of my wife, and we rocked and listed a good bit before sinking half down to the silt that I knew from my studies must lie at the foot of these waters.
And then the rest of the way, all the way down.
There, of course, there was much, much wet, and my wife who was leaking in need of a surgeon could not be distinguished as leaking, but the menthol leaking distinguished us from the tasty versions of flesh which the gargantuan sharks which prowled these depths had a fondness for, thank God we were not that tasty version of flesh--my wife, in any case, saved me!
It was ages before we were rescued and when we were it was ages before we were thoroughly dry and the age being what it was yet ages more before our city recognized us with a plaque for "Healthy Bonanza of Survivability Today." It was good, the city expressed, that we lived so well and so long and in such a historical timeline, not unlike that of the city, not unlike that of the country, this great ardent flimflam blimp of a country neither you nor I know the end of.
Our apartment was remarkable and one day my wife and I were sitting across from each other at dinner, toasting the veal, encouraging thrift in our future encounters of butcher, damn it, and I got the idea that lands were there for the settling, oceans were there for distribution through consciousness and that many of us, my wife and I for example, while poor, had a right to those terrains so submerged, effectively removed from the feet and soul of us, kept from our tonguings and strikings-off from lists of must-sees.
So!
So I spoke again to my wife of the value of veal: she thought it strange, as we had once already that night discussed the marvels of cow still unswollen with fulness of cow, its taste, but being a fine wife she lifted her glass and it was as I was pouring her toast that I came upon the name "Invulnerable" and gave it to her with the butt of the bottle upon the front of the head, first, and then on the softer parts aft of the pate, and as she assumed the more traditional poses of strong oceanbound vessels my certainty redoubled and the wind built up in my chest and I belted out some great homilies in the key of B-flat and trundled my wife to the quays and we sang some lively but peaceful tunes of pain and joy to those excellent journeyers from lands of merriment to greater lands of untapped death where they might encourage the growth of some fine, fine habits among us. We cheered them nearly endlessly, and then set off on some fine adventures up and down, up and down.