ROMANCING THE SMELT: SELF-COLONIZATION, MISCHIEF, AND THE WEST

"When a sow of vitality sets foot upon the moon of perfidy, it is with the moral judgement of the God-fearing faithful legion that the cradle of God's messenger is reached in the hearts of resiliences and will be repelled by good example in the path of misguidances and cursed 'til the day of judgement."

--USA Today's own translation of Saddam Hussein's wartime address to the American people, which he was allowed to make in exchange for letting Bush make an address to the Iraqi people

"Such a life, oh such a life--how can I compass the fret and the shuffling alarums of rev, of swish? Too many anchors abut!"

--Edna Lafarouche in Anything Goes